It didn't help that I come into work and its literally a mess from the day before. I don't care if you tried your hardest and can't get everything done (even though no matter how busy- I manage to get it all done, but whatev). It's sad that some very important calls that should have been made yesterday, were never done. Easy messages and phone calls- not even touched. At least the X-rays notifications were called on, but anyway. That started my day off. Simple faxing people! You can literally fax something and walk away and come back to it later- seriously takes one minute. Which I love that I'm an X-ray tech and take care of all of this, but anyway.
I have apparently developed the infamous PUPPS pregnancy rash. A girl warned me about it- but I was like .. Nooooo I just have itching from stretch marks. Well- I was wrong. I have this awful rash everywhere. And if you start to itch - it literally blisters right in front of you. It's a visible rash, that if you don't have the urge and aren't thinking about it, it's not terrible. But- if you hit your arm, scratch it on anyways or think about your feet- your screwed. It's so weird that it almost swells you. When in the insane itching mode, my fingers and toes swell so bad it's ridiculous. I can't even fully bend my fingers without the pain.
I emailed my doctor, who I haven't seen since like 24 weeks because of the reg OB/ high risk weird visits I've been having. Anywho- she said try calamine lotion. Um no. I'd rather not go to work with pink lotion all over my body. She said I needed to get some labs done because that rash may have something to do with my liver. Great. We googled it- Umm scary! It's apparently called
Cholestasis. Which doesn't affect the mother so much, but can be life threatening to the babies. We went immediately. I got my liver functions back- they are normal. My bilirubin was in the high end of normal and now I am just waiting for my bile acid labs to come back.
She then preceded to say she wouldn't see me at my next appt, that the high risk clinic ( who she works for on Mondays) has stolen me. Umm, I scheduled my appointment for Monday for that reason, to see her. So that irked me, I really don't want to see the same guy I saw last time who barely stuck his head in the room long enough last time to take a breath.
I said I was pretty disappointed because I had some questions for her. She emailed me back and said shoot her an email with the questions- she would answer them. So I did. I asked since my babies were bigger, what's the max they would let me go. I'm trying to let my work know.. Is c section an option, do I get to choose or is it based on dr preference and protocol, do they automatically administer steroid shots for the lungs or only if something goes wrong and is there anything else for this rash- is spreading.
Her response was- your pregnant with twins. Expect the unexpected/everything. I seriously can't believe I wasted my time emailing her and that's her professional opinion. So it may be pregnancy hormones but I'm mad. I'm tired to seeing different doctors, I'm tired of never having a straight forward answer, I'm just done. I miss my old dr and clinic. I know my babies will be in good NICU hands if need be and that Is why I switched but I feel like a herded cow right about now. Just another #.
Okay I know I'm not, but I'm just worn out. I think I've handled the insane vomiting and weakness (vomiting 5-6 times a day) pretty well, I think I'm dealing well with the gestational diabetes considering I'm a carboholic, and I haven't been complaining of being pregnant in the heat- even with humidity being upwards of 80-90%, I'm enjoying pregnancy and feeling them move and to see what triggers them and what time of day they love the most.. But today I'm just tired. It doesn't help I'm at work 12 hours and everyone has noticed my rash and keeps pointing it out.. Thanks- I got it.
So- I guess I'm not perfect. Throughout the whole TTC process I vowed to never complain. Nothing could be as bad as wanting and needing these babies , nothing I couldn't handle. & I can handle it. I just need to vent to another outlet other than my poor husband, who has no clue what to say or do.
I love being pregnant. For twins, I'm really having an awesome pregnancy! I'm so insanely blessed. How could I complain?! I'm 32 weeks today and pretty much in 4-6 weeks I will have two beautiful babies of MY OWN, to love on! How can anything be that bad?
No comments:
Post a Comment