Big Babies and Different Doctors

To say I was frustrated with the doctors last week- it's now at a new level. 

I will try to calmly explain. I swear- I'm normally pretty easy going. 

We had our ultrasound first off with my fav tech! She said she was wondering when I would come back and she would see me again. There was a student and a resident in there as well which I didn't mind- ill show off my girls/twinsies anytime! You could tell who was who, the resident was explaining twins and scenarios and even said he would be on midnight shift if I ever came in. We were laughing and telling stories and I felt like it was going to be a great day! Baby A/Ella- (who 4 weeks ago was 2.14) is now 4lbs 6 ounces!!! Way to go! Baby B/Bria- (who 4 weeks ago was 3.7) is now 5 lbs 1 ounce!! Insane! I have 9lbs 7 ounces of baby at 32 weeks 6 days! Woot woot! 

We sat back out in the waiting room, counting down the minutes to when we would be taken back. Andrew had to leave my noon, probably should have left sooner! We were taken back at 1130 and checked in. We asked to see our regular NP and she said she would check but I was scheduled with Dr. Holls..... Again. They guy who was in there for 2.5 seconds. 

We waited and waited. 12 pm rolls around and Andrew had to leave. :( 

Which was harder than I thought.. I shed a few hormonal tears and about 15 minutes later, a woman doctor I have never met walked in. 

She seemed nice and kind of answers my questions. Until we talked about delivery, she said max they would let me go was 39 weeks?! Um. No. I said for twins?! She said oh, well twins would be sooner. Okkkkk. Since that's what I am having is twins- lets chat about that. -__-

She talked about vaginal vs. c section and kind of acted like I had an option, but I'm still not 100% sure. She then brings in Dr Holls who reviews my glucose levels. Mind you- I called in last week with my readings, my regular NP said they were okay (mainly checking my fasting). Since then, my fasting has been under 95- but now all of the sudden- I need medication.. Another -___- 

With medication comes twice a week appointments. And they want to pick what days I come. Well- I work. And I was told my dr would be here on Mondays so I specifically request Mondays off. And now this dr tells me- no she's here on Tuesdays. Next Tuesday. I said there is no way. I emailed her and she told me she would be there the 22nd which is Monday. Someone is lying. 

Apparently the scheduler left and I could tell the dr was frustrated having to work around my work schedule- so she told me she would call. Which she didn't. Thankful for my wvu chart that tells me when I am scheduled. She already didn't listen to me and scheduled me for Friday morning and now I have to have someone work for me. 

I feel totally passed around. I am dying to see my regular doctor and get a clear picture as to what is going on. 

Besides this little bump, the girls are super healthy and Bria definitely had hair!! Yay! Coming from a baldie (me) I'm pumped! It's getting more real that in less than one month- I will be a mother to twin baby girls. I was talking to my sister earlier who called and asked what I was doing. I said watching tv- alone (since I'm already missing my husband). She said this will be your last time alone. & she is right. Andrew is home 24-7 besides this conference this summer and with these babies- I will never be alone! How amazing is that to think about?! 

I love that thought! *sigh*

Tomorrow is Bittersweet

So tomorrow I will be 32 Weeks 6 Days! Our little girls should weigh close to 4lbs depending- B will probably surpass that we can only hope! I have been dying for this day for some reason for weeks! I am normally über excited about each appointment but it seems like such a milestone that we would never get too, and now that they are getting bigger- their weights and measurements constantly surprise me! 

However, tomorrow my husband has to leave after the ultrasound and go on a weeklong conference for his continuing education credits for teaching. :( I am used to him being there.. All the time, he cleans (for the most part), does all the dishes, and laundry and cooks every single meal for me. He literally does it all, feeds the cats, cleans the litter.. 

That's not even the part I'm going to miss- I will just miss him. He's pretty much always home when I come home. He's always there when we go to bed and wake up.. One of then Last times he left, it was a nightmare and I cried because my annoying cat wouldn't leave me alone and I had to work 8-8 the next day  and was still up at 3am. Needless to say, I will miss him for everything he does  on a daily basis. (How do people deal with deployments- I will never know)! 

We are 3 very lucky ladies! 

Today is NOT my day...

I probably shouldn't even write this blog post because I never want to be a complainer throughout this pregnancy. I am blessed and I am lucky. I'm just frustrated. 

It didn't help that I come into work and its literally a mess from the day before. I don't care if you tried your hardest and can't get everything done (even though no matter how busy- I manage to get it all done, but whatev). It's sad that some very important calls that should have been made yesterday, were never done. Easy messages and phone calls- not even touched. At least the X-rays notifications were called on, but anyway. That started my day off. Simple faxing people! You can literally fax something and walk away and come back to it later- seriously takes one minute. Which I love that I'm an X-ray tech and take care of all of this, but anyway. 

I have apparently developed the infamous PUPPS pregnancy rash. A girl warned me about it- but I was like .. Nooooo I just have itching from stretch marks. Well- I was wrong. I have this awful rash everywhere. And if you start to itch - it literally blisters right in front of you. It's a visible rash, that if you don't have the urge and aren't thinking about it, it's not terrible. But- if you hit your arm, scratch it on anyways or think about your feet- your screwed. It's so weird that it almost swells you. When in the insane itching mode, my fingers and toes swell so bad it's ridiculous. I can't even fully bend my fingers without the pain. 

I emailed my doctor, who I haven't seen since like 24 weeks because of the reg OB/ high risk weird visits I've been having. Anywho- she said try calamine lotion. Um no. I'd rather not go to work with pink lotion all over my body. She said I needed to get some labs done because that rash may have something to do with my liver. Great. We googled it- Umm scary!  It's apparently called

Cholestasis. Which doesn't affect the mother so much, but can be life threatening to the babies. We went immediately. I got my liver functions back- they are normal. My bilirubin was in the high end of normal and now I am just waiting for my bile acid labs to come back. 

 She then preceded to say she wouldn't see me at my next appt, that the high risk clinic ( who she works for on Mondays) has stolen me. Umm, I scheduled my appointment for Monday for that reason, to see her. So that irked me, I really don't want to see the same guy I saw last time who barely stuck his head in the room long enough last time to take a breath. 

I said I was pretty disappointed because I had some questions for her. She emailed me back and said shoot her an email with the questions- she would answer them. So I did. I asked since my babies were bigger, what's the max they would let me go. I'm trying to let my work know..  Is c section an option, do I get to choose or is it based on dr preference and protocol, do they automatically administer steroid shots for the lungs or only if something goes wrong and is there anything else for this rash- is spreading. 

Her response was- your pregnant with twins. Expect the unexpected/everything. I seriously can't believe I wasted my time emailing her and that's her professional opinion. So it may be pregnancy hormones but I'm mad. I'm tired to seeing different doctors, I'm tired of never having a straight forward answer, I'm just done. I miss my old dr and clinic. I know my babies will be in good NICU hands if need be and that Is why I switched but I feel like a herded cow right about now. Just another #. 

Okay I know I'm not, but I'm just worn out. I think I've handled the insane vomiting and weakness (vomiting 5-6 times a day) pretty well, I think I'm dealing well with the gestational diabetes considering I'm a carboholic, and I haven't been complaining of being pregnant in the heat- even with humidity being upwards of 80-90%, I'm enjoying pregnancy and feeling them move and to see what triggers them and what time of day they love the most.. But today I'm just tired. It doesn't help I'm at work 12 hours and everyone has noticed my rash and keeps pointing it out.. Thanks- I got it. 

So- I guess I'm not perfect. Throughout the whole TTC process I vowed to never complain. Nothing could be as bad as wanting and needing these babies , nothing I couldn't handle. & I can handle it. I just need to vent to another outlet other than my poor husband, who has no clue what to say or do. 

I love being pregnant. For twins, I'm really having an awesome pregnancy! I'm so insanely blessed. How could I complain?!  I'm 32 weeks today and pretty much in 4-6 weeks I will have two beautiful babies of MY OWN, to love on! How can anything be that bad? 

Happy 4th of July!

It's July 4th! One year ago, I was testing my ovulation like crazy- probably finishing up my last round of Femara, mourning what I thought was a dream of never becoming pregnant. We had just received the news that Andrews sperm morphology was low, with high debris (no one could seem to tell us what that meant), and a low volume. We were big devastated. My doctor gave us an ultimatum, it was this round or onto IUI. We had many people around us telling us that maybe it wasn't meant to be, some people just don't ever get pregnant & maybe adoption really was our calling. 

We cried and comforted one another and vowed that we would not give up; we just didn't know what the next step would be.  Less than 2 weeks later, I got up to pee at 4am, took a pregnancy test so I could stop the dreaded progesterone suppositories I had been on for months, and went to sleep. I woke back up at 915am, and made my usual morning bathroom trip. I barely looked at the pregnancy test before almost throwing it away. I died inside. 

There were two lines. Something I had NEVER seen before. Ever. I ran into Andrew trying to find the remote for the light and the tried to turn on a lamp that wasn't plugged in. I threw the test at him and ran back to the bathroom. I took another. Still 2 lines. (Of course this wasn't the way I wanted to tell Andrew, but there are no "fun" surprises with infertility. We immediately made a sign and took a picture with our cat, saying he was going to be a big brother- coming March 26th, 2013- according to our app. Andrews 27th birthday. 

One month later, we ended up losing our little one, whom I still strongly believe was a boy. No heartbeat, never any signs, no bleeding, nothing. Our hearts were broken. I thought, it's true. I will never be pregnant. I can't imagine myself being pregnant, it's the only stage in my life that I can't envision- it must be a sign. 

Here I sit, rocking in the nursery of my soon to be twin girls. God is amazing, always has been and always is. I dug myself into a hole before I fully gave God the control he was meant to have all along. I truly believe God and our baby boy sent these two girls to us exactly when we needed them. (We were given a 2nd ultimatum the month I became pregnant. 

We found out December 25, 2012. 

What more evidence do we need to know we are not in control, as much as I wanted to be. I got to celebrate Jesus's birthday and the news of a new pregnancy. In my heart, I said this was the last time. I couldn't go through the heartache of it all, if this pregnancy was a success- I may only carry one child. 

He has proven me wrong. He heard my fears of disappointment, struggle, and miscarriage and gave us twins. 

Amazing doesn't even describe it. 

Happy 4th of July! -Ella Faith & Bria Cole

Part 2!

This will be much less boringly detailed as the last post! 

Andrew and I pretty much spent all our free time together. Whether that meant, I sat at his inter mural games or sat through his basketball practices, I did!

Through the years, in X-ray school, I would wait for him at his apartment until he got off at 7.. Just to see him for an hour or two.. 

I knew pretty early that I loved him. On December 31- well could have been jan 1st- not sure of the time.. He told me. Barely. I was getting out of the car to get into mine to drive home and he said I love you. In like the quietest voice ever. I said what? He said it again a little louder. & I said it back, with no doubts or regrets. 

He was actually the one that when i wanted to quit X-ray school because it was hard and not like regular college, told me no. I said but I could quit in time to start the semester back at Fairmont State. He talked me out of it! 

We went through a lot the first two years. I was in the process of finding my birth parents (which turned out to be a nightmare) and she claimed she had people watching me 24-7 so I needed to watch my back, I actually had to take personal time on my 21st birthday and left with Andrew hours away just to make sure she wouldn't so anything rash. Andrews first apartment got flooded with sewer, so we moved him to a 2nd one. That lasted a year until his roommate decided he wanted to save money by living at home. So we moved him back home. Andrew started coaching middle school basketball as well as youth league basketball, he had to deal with the stressors of X-ray school as much as I did. I went to school 5 days a week, even through the summer and still worked 32 hours a week at my Job in the pharmacy. We were only guaranteed to see each other on Sundays after 6pm. He started a new job, changed majors from chemistry to PE (mind you he had 3 classes left for his chemistry degree.. But oh well) 

Honestly, for a 19-21 and 20-22 year old, we went through a lot! (The adoption mom saga could seriously be a lifetime movie). On August 22,2008 Andrew and I went to Canaan Valley and Seneca Rocks. I wasn't prepared to go "hiking". It's right in the heat of summer, and Andrew makes me wear tennis shoes to climb up the rocks. I was already frustrated because I didn't think we were at the right spot to hike up to the top. But- we headed out anyways. Here I was, grumbling and complaining that my newly polished toes were getting ruined and Andrew kept touching me and I was sweaty. I was not a good hiking partner. We soon realized, upon seeing the private property sign, we were not hiking up the right path. We were on the path for the rock climbers. & that pissed me off even more! 😁

 We started to head back down, I was going as fast as I could. Andrew kept asking me to stop walking so fast, take a picture, to me is sounded like wah-wah-wah... He finally told me to stop. Turn around and come and take a picture. I'm normally a picture taking fool- so I  agreed. 

Not my biggest, cheesiest smile. No sooner did I turn around, Andrew was down on one knee. Are you serious? Is all I could say. I literally just ruined what was supposed to be the best day of my life this far. What had I done?! I honestly can't remember everything he said but he opened the ring box and it said,

We met in the past, 

We are here in the present, 

Will you be my future? 

And I bawled like a baby. I don't even think I said yes. :) I pulled him up and just cried in his arms. Half out of pure joy and excitement and half out of-  I'm pretty sure I just ruined this proposal with my sour ass attitude. 

We contemplated waiting two years until Andrew was done with school, but said what the heck. We were in love and could manage on my X-ray tech income (I was set to graduate the next June) 

So we did it, planned a wedding amidst my last year of xray school & studying for boards. I took my boards at 8am the day I was set to graduate and passed with flying colors. Graduated. The next day was my bridal shower. The next few months were spent in pure excitement as we planned the best day of our lives! 

                  Engagement Photos

                        Bridal Shower 

    The gorgeous flowers Andrew sent :) :) 

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Our Story ❤

I saw some blogs were posting about their weddings. Since our *4* year anniversary is coming up- I thought I would save that post for August 1st! :) 

Andrew and I met actually on high school. I knew who he was, he played basketball, ran track and cross country and did pretty well in all three! I knew of him, but had never spoken to him as we was a year older than me. & oddly I wasn't too interested in dating. I went on a few dates here and there, but just felt awkward and nothing seemed to click. We ended up having high school biology together and never spoke a word to each other! :) 

He went off to college and I was a senior, we both were in separate relationships. Both of us with younger partners! Mine was off/on and his seemed pretty steady. That's literally all I knew about him. I went off to college, broke off my 1st serious relationship during that first year and played the field, I guess you would say. However my first relationship never truly went away. He apparently had broken off his serious relationship that year too. 

Enter Facebook. Where everyone knows your birthday, even if you never say a word. I worked my 19th birthday at Rite Aid Pharmacy and got off at 9pm. I went home to log onto my dial up Internet and checked my Facebook. (There were no 500+ friends at the time. There was college only so I maybe had 50 people say something) & one private message that changed my life! It said "happy birthday cutie!" From a Mr. Andrew Moore :) 

I didn't know what to say back and just replied- "thank ya! Hope you are having a great summer!" I'm not sure when we started chatting through AIM but we did. He visited me at work one day before he left for 3 weeks for his trip to Australia! He left and I immediately felt lonely. I called his cell phone once and left a message knowing he wouldn't get it until he returned. I never got a call back (I now know he never got that voicemail, but at the time I was pretty mad). 

He returned and started moving in with his cousin to an apartment in Fairmont ( out college town). We spoke a few times and he actually asked me out a few times but I always managed to find a reason to say no. I wasn't sure what my issue was, but I was stubborn. 

Eventually I couldn't avoid it any longer, he asked me out for a Thursday. I couldn't I had to work. So I thought- ill suggest Friday, surely a 20 year old college boy has plans for Friday. At least work! He said Friday would work- that he had every Friday off, as did I. I'm not sure if I was more nervous or just unprepared for that answer. I immediately went to my grandmas and said what was I supposed to do?! She said give him one chance. Why can't he have one when you have your last boyfriend like 5? Touché! 

We went out to the movies to see employee of the month and to the local Cracker Barrel, then I asked to see where he lived. I'm not sure why- and he seemed shocked that I asked, but he was nice enough to take me. We walk in and his cousin/roommate- is laying on the couch shirtless. A pretty hilarious moment. After that, he drove me home! Yes there was the first kiss and yes it was pretty great! That was October 6, 2006. 

6 days later- in his kitchen- he "asked me out" after saying for two days he had something to ask me. I may have fell in love that first date, because I didn't want to be anywhere else... 

Part 2 to come later! Ill leave you with our 2006 throwback profile pictures! 

30 WEEKS!!! EEEEEKKKK!

How far along? Officially 30 weeks!

How big is baby? 2 Cabbages or cucumbers ?

Total weight gain/loss: 20 lbs, not counting fertility meds :\

Maternity clothes? I have been wearing a mix of both, but my regular shirts aren't long enough anymore.. I wear what I can at work and t-shirts (larges) at home!

Sleep: Still good! Just waking up 4 times or so a night to pee! Getting out of bed is the hardest!

Best moment this week: Reaching this insane milestone! Also - hilarious moment: wearing compression hose.. took 10 minutes to put on. Get to work - realize they are on backwards. But I had gone too far. Took 5+ minutes to take off when I got home..

Girls:

Ella Faith (after my sister, Sabreena Faith)
Bria Cole (after my dad- Ron Coleman)

Movement: Constantly! Another great moment this week was yesterday. Andrew called me after basketball practice, and I laid the phone on my belly and had him on speakerphone. The girls WENT CRAZY. Kicked the whole time he was on the phone! I told him what they were doing and he said, I just can't wait for them to get here. I know he always feels that way, but it feels a million times better when I hear it! <3

Food cravings: Well, now that I know I can't have pasta and a lot of breads and sugars, I want them. Go figure.

Food Aversions: Not really anymore!

Gender: 2 GIRLS

Pregnancy Symptoms: Back Pain, Soreness, Unable to bend over, SWELLING (not terrible, but consistent everyday)

Belly Button in or out? Top is an outie, bottom is an innie!

What I miss: Carbs :) Only because I know I can't have them! They are worth it though!

What I am looking forward to: Just getting through each day! Tomorrow I have a massage, so I'm excited about that! :)

Upcoming appointments/events: July 1st with high risk, No ultrasound though :(  Darn!


Milestones: 30 weeks!! The countdown is on!

Bump Picture: I shall post one soon!

So I found some of our baby pictures! I'm pretty sure Bria is going to be a mini daddy!! 

Same nose and all! Love it! 

Ella isn't too convincing but we both have petite lips! :) 

I guess we soon shall see!! :) 

Positive note: 

My twin girl carrier counterpart, Susan, had her beautiful itty bitty babies this morning! They are gorgeous and don't truly look small! Her having them makes this all so real! I feel so blessed to be able to go through this with her by my side! 

Hannah & Hailey! It doesn't get much better now does it?!