I have no clue what I'm doing

Real nice. Right?! 

It's honest. I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I am a mom to twins! Yes,  twins! & I honestly don't care if this offends anyone- but it's a heck of a whole lot harder than one! Or even two under two! Sorry (not sorry) it's the truth. I finally got Ella down for a nap today and just could spend time with Bria. She has been super chill and mellow lately and I feel like I can give her enough attention because Ella won't.stop.crying. 

& here is where I blame myself. 

I had all these preconceived notions of what I would do with my little ones while pregnant. We were going to start them off in the crib, in their room. Or if I HAD to, in the pack n play in our room. 

When that didn't work and I hadn't slept in over a week due to being at the hospital- swings it was! & still is. I seriously feel like I have ruined them. We never swaddled. Bria hated it and they didn't really need it in their swings. Now that we want to transition them to the crib- it probably would have been an ok idea. 

I don't even know where I am going with this post. I'm more so frustrated with myself. How did I let this happen, how did I let Ella scream and scream. & there's no magic way to get her to go to sleep. She throws herself everywhere, arches her back and screams blood murder. You can't rock her, swing her or bounce her to sleep. She just doesn't wanna. 

Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow- prob will-  I'll be at work. But right now I'm just mad. At myself. I know in 2 years non of this will matter and they will be toddlers running around sleeping in a toddler bed, but for now- I will wallow. 

However, Ella did manage to sleep 40 minutes in the crib for a nap today! Tats a step right?! Oh please say yes! 

First Christmas Success

I seriously love all aspects of Christmas! The tree, the decorating, the family time, celebrating our blessings thanks to the birth of Jesus, and the traditions. Ohhh the traditions! 

I have always loved Christmas but didn't realize how much more I could love until I had children! And they are only 4.5 months old! They have no clue what was going on, but their presence made it a million times better. I remember last year watching my sister hurry through gifts with her almost 4 month old thinking how could she just tear through them like that, and now I know. 

They really have no idea. All they want to do is eat, sleep, coo and play with some toys. They got fussy a few times but truly all in all was a huge success! 

Saturday we shopped and stopped by his sisters to feed the girls, I pumped and changed them. Then we headed to his grandmas. Ella had a MAJOR breakdown in the car. Literally it was so bad the neighbors came out from where we were parked to see what was going on. Not good. 

For some reason that's the only picture I got that day. 

The next day was much better. They slept good in the morning and we headed to Maws house for dinner. It lasted a little too long for me- I needed to pump badly! But it was fun. They had a good nap there too! I pumped on the way to moms. I have several pics from moms on my Nikon and haven't downloaded them yet, but the presents were insane! The girls are beyond spoiled! And of course my parents still spoil us as well! We are lucky! No breakdowns it was an awesome day! 

The next day was pretty relaxing. No dinners or anything. I worked at FGH from 8-1130 and then I came home and Andrew left for his appointment. Which was pointless. 

We waited allll day for Brees announcement and guess what?!? 

Another girl! 

Why did we ever think it would be a boy? We only make girls around here! 

Lyla Marie :)

Will update on Christmas Eve/day next time! Gotta take advantage of sleeping babies! 

4 Month Dr Update!

We had Ella's Birth to 3 Eligibility meeting today! Finally after having to cancel because of the snow! 

Developmentally, Ella is on track. Her muscle problems are atypical in 3 areas which automatically qualifies her for services. As of now we have PT twice a month! 

Their 4 month check up was also today! 

Ella weighs a whooping 13.2 lbs! If you would have told me the day she was born that by 4 months she would almost (not quite) have TRIPLED her weight. I wouldn't have believed you. 

& so far- no helmet! Just to watch her head and consult with PT! (Which we are doing). & Ella is free from Neosure! We can supplement my breastmilk wig regular formula! (The girls are eating upwards of 50 ounces a day total and I make roughly 34-38. 40 on a good day). 

Her shots were super sad- I had Ella and she went second and her scream is a screeching one. I cried. A lot. 

Bria weighs 11.15. So close to 12. Of course she took a poo right before that. She isn't gaining like she should. At 2 months she was 9.8. They like 2 lbs a month and we are at 2.5 pounds in two months. :/ She doesn't get off neosure. In fact- we have to fatten it up. Two different formulas. I pray this works for her.  She is a tough eater. 

She have us the go to starts cereal in their nighttime bottles and as I am finishing up this post. We are going on 9 plus straight hours of sleep!! Eek! I don't know if it's the combination of shots and cereal and bath time. Bria did have to be rocked to sleep, but we are attributing that to her shots. 

Does it get any cuter? 

E actually took her own selfie! 

Photo Dump

I figure I need to do a photo dumb while I'm at work pumping! 

Cannot wait for their Christmas ornaments to get here!! 

Happy *4* Months Not So Little Ones!

4 Months! 

This month was a big one! I'm amazed at all they have learned, so happy that they are developing appropriately, but so sad my little sleepy needy newborns are gone. These babies are definitely still super needy but in much different ways. It's been a rough couple days between teething and we aren't sure if it's the beginnings of an ear infection or just a lot of wax buildup. My patience was by far tested yesterday, I passed but barely. I was crying, they were crying and seeing Daddy walk through that door was such a relief! 

Smiley Ellie- 

You have gotten so big! You are well over 12 lbs and are very heavy compared to your sister! We love it! You are super smiley and love to be held, which is different than the past few months. You drink 4 ounces consistently every 2-4 hours and have started teething, which makes you very angry! You are still in 0-3 month clothes but we may be able to change the sleepers to 3-6 month soon- regular clothes will probably stay the same! You are still in size 1 diapers! We have switched your bottle to the Tommie Tippie- you are a little messy but you seem to like it! You love Sophie the giraffe, your bumbo, being held, diaper changes, clothes changes, riding in a moving car, riding in a moving stroller, teethers, orajel, your piano gym and mommy & daddy of course! You were quite the show off the past few days- you rolled over for Nanny & Pappy 5 times- and mommy once yesterday. You also belly laughed for the first time yesterday! Your big smile is so contagious! You look more and more like Mommy everyday! We are getting so very excited for your first Christmas and cannot wait to celebrate with you two! We love the way you smile & laugh (once!), how you reach for toys everytime, your bald little head (no hair has grown since last month), how you love to stand up, how you love to suck on our fingers, and how you each for sissys hand to chew on it as well. You love watching sports with your daddy and he loves it too! You love to talk, but it's more like a mild scream! We are so proud of what you have learned! We love you to the moon and back! 

Baby Bri! 

You are getting so big! You are in 0-3 month clothes but slowly growing out of 0-3 month pajamas! You are in size 1 diapers still and LOVE to get your diaper changed! You are getting quite the personality and love to talk, you babble constantly- while playing, in the car, in the stroller and when you should be sleeping! We think you will be the talker of the family! You consistently drink 4 ounces every 2 to 4 hours and you are starting to teeth which can make for a cranky baby (the both of you!) You love to play and kick, talk, reach for toys, you love to sit up, play patty cake with daddy, you love to be bounced, and cuddled to sleep! You haven't rolled over again since the first two times but you love to roll from side to side! You are starting to get your hair back in full force but it's coming in a strawberry blonde. You still have a mustache shaped black strip of hair Af the base of your hairline and it's so cute! You love to chew on your hands and teethers and drool- a lot! You get relief from baby orajel and sometimes we have to give you some before you can eat! You're laugh is an amazing sound and we have caught it in video a few times! We try to do whatever we can to hear it!  You love Sophie the giraffe, your bumbo (sometimes), being held, diaper changes, clothes changes, riding in a moving car, riding in a moving stroller, teethers, orajel, your piano gym and mommy & daddy of course! We love you to the moon and back!! 

&& we cannot wait to celebrate chrismtas with our two favorite girls! 

First Snow Day!

IDaddy had a snow day yesterday! 

It was supposed to be Ella's birth to 3 meeting, but because everyone is afraid of a little snow- they cancelled and so did his school. 

I work this Saturday so it was a free day with my family of four! 

We made a huge Walmart trip! Picked up our pictures, and visited Aunt Neena & Kay! 

It was pretty cold so we tried on some hats! 

 

This is so sad! Day we left the hospital officially and my almost 4 month old! 

Their cousin Kayleigh played out in the snow and I fell on love with this picture and I couldn't understand why until I remembered this photo of her momma! 

I die. 

Here's another sneak peak of our Family chrismtas photo shoot! 

It's Santa!

No lie- like many other things- I have dreamed about taking our kids to see Santa for a while now during our TTC process! 

In there morning, Andrew was nice enough to let me go to the craft show with Megan while he watched the babies! I had so much fun! I came home, we fed the girls and got them ready and headed to see Mr. Claus! I have always thought we had the most convincing Santa around, which we do- but he was kind of creepy. He said nothing to us. Which I thought was very strange. Nevertheless, we got 2 good pictures! One good pic of Bri, and semi good of Ella and the second picture Ella was beaming! And Bri a was frowning.. Lol we get to buy the digital copy so that's awesome! The ladies were very nice in trying to get the girls to smile and make sure they tried to get them at the same time! No complaints there!

This was before we took the girls! 

I love that we get to do these things! Even small events like these are seriously a dream come true! 

While we were out- we picked up these!! 

Since the girls are getting messier and we have a ton of Christmas dinners to attend! :) :)