Babysitting Worries

I am a worrier. That's truly an understatement of a lifetime. I worry about everything. Even food. Well lately food because if I didn't worry about it- I wouldn't think about it and forget to eat because I was starving & my stomach ate itself. 

And we wonder where Bria gets her dramatic tendencies from?! 

So naturally, when my sister in law graduates college, and is in the process of getting a mon- fri job & my dad's job schedule has been up in the air since December. Naturally I'm stressed. 

For daycare (which I REFUSE for multiple reasons)-- 2 days a week for both girls is $400 a month. Seriously. What do you people do  who work Monday thru Friday?? That would be $2000 for both girls for the month. Seriously I wouldn't be working. That's my entire paycheck for the month. Ridiculous.

My sister graciously offered to babysit. She has an 18 month old & is pregnant due in May so as nice as that is. She's crazy. My sister in law just had a baby and is also stuck with no sitter, if she works part time we may be able to solve each other's problems. If we can just coordinate schedules! In the meantime, I am still going to look for other jobs. 

Childcare is the most stressful thing ever. No joke. 

Diaper Duty! [Review]

Clearly, we have changed and used our fair share of diapers. I mean- at one point one box of pampers newborn count 126 lasted us about 6-7 days. Maybe less. So we have tried almost ever single kind! (We have NOT tried Walmarts brand or Sams brand)

Walmarts brand we only had one or two packages so we just easily exchanged them. SAMs brand starts at a 3 I believe and we just transitioned to a 3! I would actually be interested in trying them & hearing any reviews! 

1) Pampers: 

-  Swaddlers: hands down our favorite. We have NEVER had a leak, pee wise, now blowouts aren't common, but I don't think any diaper could hold them all in, especially if they are in their jumpers- it has no place to go but up. These are our favorite especially as first time parents to newborn twins, we could easily check to see if they were "wet" by the wetness indicator line on the front to see if that's why they are fussy. It was quick and easy to see if the line was blue or did we just need to feed them. They pee so little  as newborns they are the squishy diapers that we can so easily feel now. We have used them in all sizes, including preemie and haven't had any issues. I did feel like the newborn and preemie were almost the exact same size and there was a 2 lb size difference between  the girls so we truly needed a smaller preemie, but we live In a small town with a small walmart so we took what we could get! The diapers were a bit thick to fold down as to not cover their belly button. However, I definitely recommend the swaddlers to newborns! (We still love them in a size 3) 

    Price:: (size 3 economy box) $0.28 cents per diaper

-Baby Dry: I believe we started using these at size 2. They started sleeping longer through the night and we didn't want them to wake up due to a pee diaper! I can tell a difference for long term coverage with these and any other. They seem to absorb better with the large amount through the night. We received a lot of our diapers from our shower and we didn't have any newborn or preemie sizes so I can't comment on those but they are more for 10-12 hours a night, I can't imagine they would be needed any younger. We love these as well. 

    Price: (size 3- economy box) $0.22 cents per diaper

2) Huggies - I can't remember what brand we used when they girls were newborns, maybe the snugglers? But we hated them! I was so mad- everytime I put a huggies diaper on them- they leaked.  I threw them all out. The only thing I couldn't think of, which I have since seen as complaints upon research, is that- they are more for chunkier legged babes, than our skinny minis! That theory would make sense, as we have used them in a size 2, and did not have that problem. We don't want to risk wasting our money on them so we don't even buy them or of we exchange we get another brand. I am cheapie, as much as I can be with twins, so we don't waste our money. I have heard good reviews on them- how these were the only diapers their baby/babies could wear so I think it just depends. I wish we could wear them- they are about $2.00 cheaper per small pack and about $7.00 cheaper per box than our faves- pampers swaddlers!

    Price: (size 3 economy box) $0.21

Per diaper.  

3) Luvs-

I am cheap, but I heard how Luvs broke some babies out because they felt more plastic-y than others. I can see how try think that, but we have thankfully not had that issue! We did not try these in newborn, so I'm not sure about the coverage for those, but have used them in sizes 1,2,3! We love them. We probably more so like the price, my husband misses the wetness indicator. However, at this point- you can easily physically feel if they are a little wet or not. So we just change them! If we return or exchange diapers we automatically buy the Luvs now. It's a no brainer- Walmart is so convenient and they are the much cheaper alternative. I was apprehensive to try them but when you go through 20-30 diapers a day- a little convienet wetness indicator is not going to be the deciding factor anymore!! 

    Price: (size 3, box) $0.17-0.18 cent per diaper

4) Target Brand- the ONLY reason we tried these was because of a $15 off $40 Up and Up brand item coupon. I am SO GLAD we did!  They have great coverage- I think we actually like them better than the Luvs. They are softer than the Luvs- much like pampers! No rashes, or leaks or even blowouts! We only purchased a size 3- so I'm not sure how the other sizes are fitted. But I LOVE the elastic back! My little niece- wears only pampers swaddlers and everything she bends over it's a crack attack, but it's okay because she's one and it's still cute! However, these little gems are elastic and I have a feeling to won't be able to see any crack once the girls get older! By far/ my favrotire generic brand purchase (besides Deals- Buttaid (generic buttpaste/destin).. 

   Price: size 3 big box:: We got size 3 diapers 180 ct- 28.99 for 25.99 X 2= Roughly $52. Without the coupon you pay $0.14 cents each. An awesome deal. With coupon you are only paying 0.10 cents each!!!! Umm awesome!!!! 

We haven't tried dollar general or family dollar or anything like that. Targets good enough for me at this point! I am interested to see if anyone's used the SAMs brand though! I love a good deal and diapers make up 85% of our weekly garbage! 

Eventually I'll make up another most of generic baby items we love. 

Just say NO to Walmart wipes! Haha! 

Sporting our Pampers Swaddlers proudly! 

Baby Feeding

I realize I haven't posted much about my breastfeeding.. Err.. Pumping adventures with the girls. And their new foods we started at 6.5 months!

The girls are 7 months and honestly I'm getting very frustrated pumping. I'm down to 3ppd because trying to stress about pumping during their naps was making me more anxious than I already am. 

At 4ppd I was pumping when they woke up to eat at either 4,5,6 am. Try to pump around 11. And then pump at 345 when Andrew would come home and then when they went to bed after 830pm. 

I would stress if the girls weren't on the same schedule and I couldn't pump and it was just bad. But I was making 40-45 ounces a day and left like a rock star! 

So I dropped to 3ppd. At first I wasn't pumping at all when I was home along with them, I would wait until 345 when Andrew would come home and I would be dying. It was almost time for Andrew to start track practice so I knew that wouldn't be feasible. He wouldn't get home until 6/615 so I've. Been pumping once during naps and so far it's working out! My supply didn't take a dip at first I was making 40 ounces but I heard there's a hormonal shift at 7 months and since it's dropped to 30 ounces a day. 

At this point, I'm so fed up. Once I get the chance (aka never) , I'm going to count my bags in the freezer and see when I can hang up the pump. It's starting to frustrate me and I'm over it. But I hate to increase their formula just because it inconviences me. Oh decisions! 

Besides that, the girls are loving food! I was anxious to start it and had looking into baby led weaning- but Ella loved it from day one and now Bria loves it even more- so I can't take it away. 

We have tried- green beans, peas, sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, applesauce, bananas and pears. 

No go on the peas. Guess I'll try to mix it with my breast milk.. And a go on everything else. E thought the applesauce was kind of sour, but still chugged it like a champ! 

Next shopping trip, I'm going to buy avocados and make that for them! I was so nervous about feeding them both by myself but it's really not an issue. I usually feed right after a nap and I feed whoever wakes up first! 

Hair people!!! 

Crawling all over momma! 

Cradle Roll Sunday!

I've been dreading church. Bad. 

Ella threw a major fit last time and she couldn't be consoled so I dealt with a screaming baby for 2 hours while Abdrew for to sit and rock Bria and listen to worship and the sermon. I did not want to repeat that. 

So, when we were notified cradle roll was this Sunday where they announce the new babies born from March 2013 to March 2014- I was nervous. 

I had the day off, which is unusual. I think I only have Easter Sunday off in April so I knew this was our only chance. 

We were lined up and missed worship, but were lined up in order of birthday and waited to be announced. We were 6th in line and we probably waited 20 minutes standing. & the girls were getting HEAVY! 

Andrew held Ella and I had Bria. Bri had just woke up so had her usual sour puss face and Ella was her smiley self- flirting with all the boys! 

We were announced- there was a slide show with the girls names on it and these were the pics I submitted. 

Describes their personalities pretty well! If I had edited the ones from their 6 month shoot I would have included Brias from there but I though these were cute. This happened the next day and I WISH I would have had this: 

But oh well! 

I will be forever grateful to our friend Ashley Currey for getting these two pics from the day!

We got to wear their duke dresses! And they looked adorable!

This was from later that day! 

I mean. Please. Melting.... 

We received their first bibles and flowers. We cannot wait to raise our girls in the church and be surrounded by such love. 

Lucky #7 [Months, That Is]

I'm kind of in shock. My babies are 7 months old. I almost can't believe it. Then, Bria smiles and I see her tooth and I turn around and Ella has crawled into the kitchen, yup- 7 months! 

Mommas Ellie Bellie, 

We are lucky to have these pictures of you. You are on the go non stop and the only way I can get your photo is if we hold you and play! You are getting so big! You are in between 3-6 month sleepers and 6-9 month sleepers, just depends! Mainly 6-9 month! You are still in 3-6 month clothes but I think we can change you to 6-9, it just might be a little baggy. We just started using size 3 diapers the other day! Your eyes are still a beautiful

blue and your blonde hair is coming more and more each day! It's very soft but very light! No teeth yet, BUT--- You are officially full on crawling, and you use your legs. You are fast! We can't turn our backs for a second or you're into the kitchen or trying to get our potatoes that sit by the fridge! 3 nights ago, daddy was fixing Bria's crib- I carried Bria from the living room to your bedroom- you followed behind! You guys have started baby food officially! You love green beans, carrots, squash and bananas. You hate peas and think applesauce is sour (but you still eat it). We can't hardly eat food around you without you reaching or staring at it! You both drink 5 ounces every 3 hours! You rarely sleep through the night, but get up at 3,4,5am for a bottle and back to bed! Our new wake up time is 730am and it's kind of early for momma and daddy! You love your new jumparoo, and you still love Violet, Sophie, bath cups, rubber duckies, your ipad, and practically anything you two can get in your mouth! You also found a new love for water bottles and baby wipe bags! Daddy took you girls on your first official walk when momma was working & you loved it! Your smile is contagious and lights up a room! You are a morning person, an excellent napper, and you love to eat! You only cry when you are sleepy or hungry (whimper). Or when you need your binky back in at night. You have slept in your crib for naps and at night for months now and we are so proud! You love to be ticked under your chin, to bounce up in the air, to blow raspberries on your belly and when mommy and daddy smile at you! You don't like loud, sudden noises. You two sat up in a high chair at a restaurant and loved it! You are such a people watcher (like momma)! This past month was a big one! We can't wait to see what you do next! You are my sunshine! 

Mommas Bri Baby,

Our little baby drama queen- cutest one ever! You are looking like such a little toddler with your new hair and it's making me sad! You are transitioning in 6-9 month sleepers for length! Still in most 3-6 clothes but we've been doing some 6-9 month lately! We just started you and sissy on size 3 diapers the other day! Your eyes are still a striking pretty blue and your hair is a mix between blonde and dark blonde! It's getting so long we can comb the top over :) it makes you look like such a big girl! Daddy took you girls on a walk the other day and you loved it!! Your face was priceless! You have officially gotten your first tooth! Actually your 2nd bottom tooth started to poke through 2 days ago! You look so cute when you smile so wide- it lights up your whole face and you can see two little white teeth on the bottom! We have started baby food! You LOVE green beans, squash, carrots, applesauce and bananas! You and your sister hate peas! (So does momma and daddy shhhh!)  We can't hardly eat food around you without you reaching or staring at it! You both drink 5 ounces every 3 hours! You rarely sleep through the night, but get up at 3,4,5am for a bottle and back to bed! Our new wake up time is 730am and it's kind of early for momma and daddy! You love your new jumparoo, and you still love Violet, Sophie, bath cups, rubber duckies, your ipad, and practically anything you two can get in your mouth! You also found a new love for water bottles and baby wipe bags! You still have no interest in crawling but you could sit up and play all day long! You sleep in your crib each night (without moving) and for 98% of your naps! Sometimes the swing helps you fall asleep if you're extra cranky! You love to have raspberries blown on your belly, you be thrown up in the air, you love to cuddle and snuggle and be held! You two day up in high chairs in a restaurant for the first time and you loved it! This past month was a big one for you both! We can't wait to see what next month holds! You are my sunshine Bria Bria! 

First Walk! 

I Have NEVER....

...went anywhere by myself with the girls. 

Okay so I lied. I went to the doctor out of desperation (remember the no poop for 6 days, poop at the doctor before she comes in post...) by myself but for some reason my parents met me to get gas (I don't know why) so wasn't completely by myself. 

I am about to pull a Susan Martin and go by myself shopping tomorrow. 

To target.

 By myself. 

I'm freaking out a bit. My worst fear is two screaming babies and a sweaty mommy because I don't have enough hands to calm them both down or feed them both. 

Susan is basically a super mom who totes her twin girls around like its nothing. I'm over here having anxiety about one small trip to get diapers and some baby sun hats and Susan does this on the daily. 

I've seriously planned this for a week now. Is that sad? 

Please say no. 

On an unrelated note to get my heart to stop racing. I want to do this with my hair. So bad. 

Tomorrow is my first day off in four day. I hope I get the motivation to go because right now I can sleep in my chair. Which I may doze off for a second secretly in the xray room. They'll think I'm working right?!?

Some days I'm The Best Twin Mom.... Others

I'm going to be brutally honest. 

Some days I feel like supermom. The girls are happily playing, content, hadn't shed a tear all day. I had dinner done, my makeup and hair done and the house in somewhat of an orderly manner. 

Other days- I wonder who thought I was capable of having twins. 

Like last Friday. 

I've started and stopped this post several times. I love love love my girls, and when people ask how it is with two I tell them how wonderful it is and how awesome they are- because it is wonderful and they are awesome. It's also hard work. Every stage is different hard work. In the beginning- it was feeding time. One would be starving and screaming, the other eating. Now, it's nap time. Ella usually goes to sleep in her crib no problem, but lately I've had to rock her to sleep. Which I don't mind but I have another little girl exhausted waiting to be rocked to sleep too. 

Last night- Bria woke up at 1245. And wouldn't go back to sleep. We actually had to feed her. I can't imagine it was the time change. Maybe teeth? I truly don't know. I just know I'm exhausted today. 

Some days I would love to give myself a pat on the back for everything I accomplished that day besides caring for babies. Other days I'm patting myself on the back congratulating myself that I didn't completely jump off the crazy train. 

I do feel I have some postpartum either hormone issues or anxiety but I have to work through them myself. I'm still pumping for my girls and I can't stop now. So no medication for this momma. & who has time to "talk" to anyone. Anyone who actually cares. 

It doesn't help that track season has started and I think Andrew and I are together with the girls as a family for a total of 10-12 hours a week and I only get to be with my girls about 30-32 hours a week, after work, travel time and sleeping (for them). 

THAT depresses me. What kind of mom am I that I see my kids less than I work at my full time job?! 

It never gets easier to leave them. Even after a bad night. Those gummy smiles (or gummy with one tooth) are the best thing in the world.