I have been dying to get a blog started just so I can get my frustrations and feelings out without having to tell everyone else around me! :)
My name is Danielle, I am married to my college sweetheart. We have been married almost 3 years and together for almost 6. It's not all been sugar and roses, but together we make it work! I am an x-ray tech, hence the x-ray part of the title. I work full time at a local dr's office, optional part time at a local hospital, sell Asset/Asset 2 (weight loss, energy supplement, fruit and fiber based), and have a side photography business. My husband is a PE teacher, high school boys basketball coach (shout out to the basketball part of the title) and middle school girls and boys track coach. Between the two of us, we see each other about once a week. The ovulation part of the title is what I think about everyday, if we ovulated, if we didn't, if we are pregnant, what I can try next, what's left to try, what we did wrong, what we did right, what we didn't do at all, THE USUAL.
We bought our first house in May 2011! Thankfully we have been busy making it a home this past year, deterring our minds somewhat from this infertility saga. To actually say infertility at 24, is scary. In fact, goosebump scary.. In the back of my mind, I had a gut feeling it would come down to this, but prayed and prayed and prayed it wouldn't. Yet, it did. I often wonder why God chose me to go through this process. I am NOT strong, I cry at the drop of a hat. I do NOT handle stress well... ex) I cry at the drop of a hat. I am VERY impatient, as I am sure this is a test I am failing. I have always 100% believed everything happens for a reason. I know it does, and yet I wonder why. I know I shouldn't.
Our journey started last March (January if you count when I started Prenatals), but March when I stopped Birth Control. Ovulation strips after ovulation strips later, nothing. In November, I had had enough. Decided to take some advice (the only advice I got), don't try, take a break. At this point, I had become obsessed with TTC (Trying to Conceive), on message boards everyday, checking CM, attempting to check my temp, checking ovulation, talking about ovulation, prenatals, vitamins, chiropractic, accupunture, etc. I thought, maybe this was a good idea. So, we did. Nothing. Yes, I suppose it did help my mood, but that was about it. I was able to lose about 20 pounds and hoped that would help as well.
After we hit our one year mark and discovered our insurance won't pay for fertility services, my husband and I made a pact. 3 years and if no baby by then, we will adopt. Adoption to me, like others, is not scary. It's beautiful. I am adopted and know the heartache that can come with some circumstances, but also the absolute joy it can bring. We decided in July, we would see a specialist. Well, once we realized our deductible starts over in July, we thought what the heck & made an appt.
I don't ovulate. Apparently. A year wasted, a year without a baby wasted. Devastation, yet happiness. All those thoughts ran through my head when the OB/GYN said he didn't think I ovulated at all. I was glad to FINALLY have some path to head on, but sad I wasted so much time. Sad I listened to everyone say, go get drunk, don't think about it, take a vacation; their solutions of my infertility. When I should have listened to my gut, I know my gut. It was right.
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